The hit reality show Married At First Sight (MAFS) is back. Now in its 20th season, the show returned with drastic changes, a new network and new hosts. Just four episodes in, it’s painfully clear that one thing hasn’t changed: Black women are still getting done dirty.
Occasionally, the bizarre social experiment delivers a beautiful love story. However, for most Black women, both here and across reality dating shows, that’s almost never the case. Instead, we get a horror story that sends viewers straight to social media with second‑hand embarrassment and frustration at producers who keep setting our sisters up to take L’s in the most disrespectful ways possible.
While some viewers are hoping for a different outcome in the latest installment of MAFS, the cringeworthy moments so far have some fans bracing for disaster.
BelleJolie and Mecca
BelleJolie, 28, is a singer and dance instructor looking for someone who can match her whimsy. Mecca, also 28, is a sanitation worker and self‑proclaimed adventurous lover boy who embraces his goofy side. On paper, the pair are a perfect fit. On a show notorious for pairing Black women with men who don’t date Black women, Mecca’s genuine attraction to his bride is refreshing.
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But viewers immediately pointed out the red flags: the experts matched them based on what appeared to be a trauma bond. BelleJolie grew up without her father and admits her immense desire for marriage comes from never seeing her mother in one, which is not a healthy reason to get married. Mecca was abandoned by both his mother and later his stepmother. Shared abandonment issues can create mutual understanding or toxicity.
Another reason for audience concern was Mecca’s weird-ass daddy. He clearly centered himself at the wedding instead of his son. His speech was a barrage of humiliating jokes at his son’s expense, making BelleJolie visibly uncomfortable. He also made inappropriate comments, including a “clapping cheeks” joke and an accusation about his son’s erection at the altar. Why is he analyzing his son’s penis? Gross. With a father-in-law like this, we wouldn’t blame BelleJolie if she ran. Still, we’re holding out hope for our niece and nephew.
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Nikki and Shawn
Nikki, 46, is a driven HR professional who takes pride in the life she has created for herself. Raised by a single mother, the corporate baddie has a thriving career earning over $300,000 annually. She wants a partner who earns similarly, not because she’s gold-digging, but because she’s had her fair share of dating men who get insecure and resentful of her lifestyle. Research shows heterosexual couples where women out‑earn men face up to a 35 percent higher risk of domestic violence. However, she acquiesced when the experts asked whether she was willing to reduce her salary requirements.
The self-proclaimed sapiosexual also said that tall, handsome men are her thing, but she quickly followed up by saying she would be willing to date someone who doesn’t check those boxes if the vibe is right.
The experts were relying heavily on Nikki’s perceived sapiosexuality when they matched her with Shawn, a 47-year-old college administrator who is accomplished in his own right; brotherman has a whole PhD. However, he is height-challenged and seemingly doesn’t meet her salary requirements. The experts admitted they knew attraction would be an issue, and they were right.
While Shawn is far from ugly, it was embarrassingly obvious that Nikki wasn’t impressed. When she met him at the altar, she mistook him for the officiant because he was so far from what she was expecting. She asked:
“What am I supposed to do? Stand here and wait for my groom?”
Yikes.
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On the flipside, the former musician turned doctor was smitten with Nikki, so much that he fawned over her during the wedding. The audience collectively cringed when, during the garter belt toss, Shawn broke into an awkward lap dance, and then got down and pulled the garter belt from her thigh with his mouth. Nikki appeared mortified and ready to disappear. While she appeased his first few requests for a kiss, she finally told him that she wanted to hold off on lip locking.
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Shawn’s inappropriate sexually charged jokes added to the tension, which Shawn didn’t seem to initially pick up on. When they turned into their honeymoon suite, Nikki agreed to share a bed with her groom but gave him a firm no when he inquired about taking his shirt off. Whew chile! When the couple went on their honeymoon, things went left real quick. Their conversations seemed more like Shawn interrogating her and challenging everything she said. When Nikki told Shawn she was uncomfortable with his approach, he offered a half-assed apology and then tried to convince her that her feelings were baseless. Shawn’s flippant and borderline angry reaction to Nikki, when she said she wanted to wait for sex, was very telling. The “nice guy” doesn’t seem so nice.
Social media was split on the matchup. Some said Nikki was unrealistic, wanting a straight Black man who checks her physical and financial boxes.
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Her supporters clapped back, noting how Black women are constantly told to settle while other women are encouraged to seek partners who match or exceed their ambition.
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Others argued Nikki wasn’t fully upfront about her sapiosexual expectations and should’ve stood ten toes down on what she wanted. That way she could have secured a match that fits or skipped the experiment altogether instead of wasting her and Shawn’s time.
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In this argument, all sides have valid points. Black women should have standards, and they are allowed to determine how high they will be. However, in some cases, the dating pool is a puddle, and therefore some of us may have to redefine what happily ever after looks like for us.
So far, we haven’t seen the same level of blatant mistreatment of Black women this season; however, Shawn or Mecca don’t deserve public embarrassment either. Although producers seem to have pulled back on the Black women humiliation rituals, but are they still playing in our faces?
Married at First Sight streams on Peacock with new episodes, dropping Thursdays at 3 AM.
