Celebrity fitness trainer Shaun T was candid about the emotional attachment he developed for the abuser who sexually violated him as a child and did not hold back in his retelling of the events. He crystallized the perspective of the assault he had as a kid during a jarring conversation that went down on the podcast Way Up with Angela Yee.
*TRIGGER WARNING
The Hip-Hop Abs creator shared that his stepfather would molest him whenever he came home drunk and fought with his mom. Shaun T disclosed to Angela Yee that his stepdad would pretend to use a bathroom near his bedroom to gain easy access.
“He would come into my room, start by rubbing my butt,” Shaun T told Yee. “Turn me over, perform oral sex on me.”
Shaun T said during the abuse he would experience the sensation of having an orgasm but never did, but at eight years old, the first time ejaculated, the molestation stopped. However, it also marked a moment of “heartbreak” for young Shaun T as he found himself longing for the affection and attention the child abuse offered.
“Now, here’s the crazy thing a lot of people don’t know happens,” the Insanity trainer said.
“So, once he stopped, that was like my first heartbreak.”
He went on to say: “You think this person is going around saying they love you and you’re their favorite child and you’re doing this and protecting them by not telling.”
Shaun T said he would do things “to be ready” for the violating encounters like be waiting in his underwear. It was disheartening to hear Shaun T recount his experience as a child targeted by sexual assault, and a victim of Stockholm syndrome which is defined as “a coping mechanism to a captive or abusive situation” by Cleveland Clinic, wherein “people develop positive feelings toward their captors or abusers over time.”
Shaun T believes his mother, who told about the sexual abuse at age 21, was completely oblivious.
It is logical to draw the conclusion that Stockholm syndrome helped mask the molestation Shaun T endured—and perhaps vulnerable children might be better protected, if people recognize the signs. According to WebMD, there are several symptoms someone impacted by Stockholm syndrome might exhibit
- Affection for or attachment to the abuser
- Attempting to help the abuser
- Distrust of or anger toward those trying to extract them from the situation
- Rationalizing abuse
- Perceiving basic dignity as kindness
- Feeling powerless
While many of these symptoms may be difficult to link directly to Stockholm syndrome, they may be worth noting if it means sparing a child from harm. If you or someone you know suffers from Stockholm syndrome, seek help through therapy. Check out the full conversation between Shaun T and Angela Yee:
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