Gwyneth Paltrow is the latest white woman who wants to consume a few elements that are Black and magical about Black women. The Academy award-winner encouraged white gals to get with the program at The MAKERS Conference that took place Feb. 27-29 in Los Angeles.
The Perfect Murder actress shared her enchantment for Black womens’ ability to own “ruthless self-acceptance” and “full love of self,” while chatting with Dartmouth College professor Dr. Ella Bell. The two women were in conversation to discuss Hive To Hive: How To Find Co-Conspirators when Paltrow expressed to Bell and an audience of onlookers the Black women’s self care runs from “the deepest part of their souls all the way to the tips of their fingers” and that white women lack camaraderie among other things due to competition and jealousy, according to TMZ.
“My Black women friends know themselves, love themselves, in a way that I think white women are not taught to,” the 51-year-old said.
“I think white women are taught to be competitive with one another which is something I’ve tried to work so hard to dispel, because I don’t believe in competition between women but we’re raised to be competitive, to be jealous, to look over each other’s shoulders.”
Paltrow told Bell that her “circle of Black friends” doesn’t engage in such behavior and then—on the last day of Black History Month—advised white women to “learn from our Black sisters and the way in which they respect themselves.”
How the ways and degrees that Black women practice self love, directly connect to white women being better white women to other white women—has yet to be seen. Paltrow’s allure for Black womens’ “incredible intrinsic self-honoring,” feels more festish than affinity and the nudge is absurd AF, particularly when one of the reasons Black women are vigilant in our self care is to establish boundaries and protect ourselves from a society that hates and harms us.
The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman. -Malcom X
Misogynoir has always been real in the field and America has a hard-on for disrespecting Black women, especially those with proximity to power. During the United States Supreme Court confirmation hearing. In March 2022, a host of racist, republican Senators played in Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson’s face with a ridiculous line of questioning despite her over being the best person for the seat. In February, The Lancet medical journal published a paper that revealed Black women were likely to be murdered at a rate far more than their white counterparts—six times to be exact. In 2022, the National Crime Information Center reported 97,000 cases of missing Black women. Unlike Gabby Petito and Natalie Holloway whose cases were amplified due to missing white women syndrome, Black women who disappear are virtually unknown to the masses. Their cases are neglected and go cold.
So as Paltrow misinterprets Black womens’ fierce self care, we’re not just reclaiming our time. We’re reclaiming our dignity, saving our lives—protecting our peace and preserving our essence.
No matter the access and proximity Paltrow has to Black women, her failing is that in praise of Black women she centers white women– as if Black women aren’t also protecting themselves from white women: the Karen’s, Kardashians, the Rachel Dolezals, and the Gwyneth Paltrows of the world. While tangible Blackness remains highly sought—that is—the hair, the flair, the thick lips and wide hips, the curvy asses and the three-inch lashes, Black girl magic is a commodity that can’t be bought—or taught.
Black women’s’ self care rituals are a tool of social justice and not to be confused with white women’s social currency. We need Gwyneth Paltrow to stop.
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